The Reluctant Princess

"'Ah, Princess,' Dallben said, with a furrowed smile, 'a crown is more discomfort than adornment. If you have learned that, you have already learned much.'"~~Lloyd Alexander, The High King

I have always been a reluctant princess.

Can you really blame me? I've never been the princess type. I wear dresses, makeup, and fancy jewelry as infrequently as possible--and even then, usually under duress. I have heard many adjectives applied to me, but "graceful" and "feminine" have never, to my knowledge, been among them. I don't like shopping, dancing, watching girly movies, or waiting for men to court me. And I'm certainly no fan of Prince Charming--I much prefer Mr. Sincere, whatever his social shortcomings. In fact, just about the only quintessentially princess-y qualities I possess are my blond hair and my name (and for the longest time, I refused to own up to the latter). And besides, who would want to be a princess? After all, a princess is merely a woman who doesn't yet have power--and only rarely will acquire power of her own. Where's the fun in that? Not to mention that the connotations and associations that most people have with the word princess (vapid and incompetent Disney Princesses; spoiled and obnoxious Daddy's Little Princesses; frigid, wasteful, and condescending Jewish-American Princesses) are far from positive.

Forget princess, the younger me thought. I want to be queen!

Nonetheless, Jewish tradition teaches that the names given to children have a prophetic meaning suited to the child--and alas, my parents, in all their prophetic wisdom, named me Sara, not Malka. So a princess I am and a princess I will remain, whether I like it or not.

But at long last, I think I'm finally coming to terms with it. After all (my apologies to Shakespeare), there are more kinds of princesses than are dreamt of in Disney's philosophy. If one looks beyond Disney, plenty of fairy tales are full of strong-willed princesses: Kate Crackernuts, Tatterhood, and the unnamed princess from "The Prince and the Three Fates," to name just a few. To this day, one of my favorite literary characters is the outspoken and eccentric Princess Eilonwy from "The Prydain Chronicles" (who, despite her constant protestations in the series against being made into "a proper lady," was made into a typical Disney princess in Disney's abominable cartoon adaptation of the first two books, seemingly without any sense of irony on the animators' part). And the Tanakh itself presents several instances of strong princesses. Michal, the daughter of King Saul, rescued her husband David by lowering him from a window and refusing to tell her father where he had gone. Batya, the Pharoah's daughter, rescued Moses from the river and took him in as her own son. According to some traditional midrashim, Hagar, the concubine of Abraham who endured harsh treatment from his wife Sarah and then raised her son Ishmael as a single mother after being expelled from Abraham's company, was also a princess of Egypt. And historically, almost every Queen or Empress Regnant--Catherine the Great, Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth I, Salome Alexandra--was once a princess. If they didn't mind the title, why should I?

So, in light of my recent graduation and my impending entry (horror of horrors) into the "real world" of work, bills, and marriage, I'm taking this opportunity to embrace my princess-ness with open arms. No, I won't be taking up dancing lessons anytime soon, but I'll accept lessons in the true qualities of royalty--leadership, magnanimity, and wisdom--from whoever or whatever is willing to teach me.

And who knows? Maybe someday I'll become a queen after all.

You'll just have to keep reading to find out.